Gutted by the Lord!!

Just got back from church where we were all recipient to a very powerfully challenging sermon about giving. Do you ever get those situations where the Lord challenges you in a loving way but you are so gutted that it feels like a slap in the face? This happened to me tonight. Something amazing happened a few weeks back, when the giving campaign was launched at church, JT and I were feeling a bit sad because we didn't know what to give. After tithing, bills and the bit my parents give us each month for food and petrol, we are not really left with anything. I prayed in church that night and said "Lord, how much should we give?" He gave an amount and I prayed "If you will provide that money then we will give it. The very next day, the University decided to award me a bursary for that exact amount, which I wasn't expecting at all! Result.

However, tonight the message was more challenging. How can you change your lifestyle to give out of a place of sacrifice? I was reminded of three events all at once and they all linked together immediately. I thought of a pastor in Brazil, when we were out there a couple of years ago. There we were in his church which had walls missing and a gap between the walls and the roof. There was no paint on the concrete walls, no flooring, no decor. Just some garden chairs to sit on, a basic set of instruments and amplification and (I think?) a lecturn of sorts. They had not saved up for the rest yet. On the walls were pictures of their dream building, which they were working towards. This half-shell that they spent all day and sometimes all night worshipping in was far from the dream on the wall, but it was their pride and joy because of the sacrifice that had clearly gone into it.

It was raining and we were all feeling a little cold in our T-shirts and shorts (hadn't realised it was winter in Brazil!!) Without a moment's hesitation, the pastor went home and must have literally emptied his wardrobe, brought the clothes back and handed them round. I ended up with the hideous jumper (pictured above!!) and much as we tried to give them back, he wasn't having any of it and saw us onto the bus with them. They also laid on a massive feast for us. I don't like to think what proportion of their month's food supply we ate. I wondered how readily, if I saw a homeless person on the street, that I would rush home, empty my wardrobe without thinking about what I was picking up and hand the clothes out.

I was then reminded of being at the Springbank bus stop the other day in the pouring rain. I was on my way out to Toyota to get the car from JT. In front of me was an old man in a wheelchair with his daughter and Grandaughter. He had clearly just come out of hospital as he had a patient's bag on the back of the chair. He had a horrible cough and was shivering like crazy because the bus was late. I wanted to go and buy him a hat. I noticed he was wearing a really thin coat and wondered about offering him mine, which was a huge Toyota jacket with a big hood. For whatever reason (I was feeling a bit shy but what kind of an excuse is that?) Anyway, the bus arrived and we all got on - there was my excuse.

I sat in the bus feeling awful, it was damp and he was still shivering and coughing... Who knows how far they had to walk afterwards? What did I need a coat for? I was walking a few feet to the car and then driving home. I still didn't offer.

Then I remembered that on Friday I lost a coat at uni. I was really annoyed because it is the coat that I live in! How ironic that the other day I didn't give away a coat that I didn't really need, then I manage to carelessly lose one that I was proud of!! I felt the Lord teaching me a subtle lesson!! Food for thought.